Say What you Want
by latinisdead
Summary: John has a heart to heart with his Nana Rose. This takes place right after 2x04 and the finale. Nana is wise and gives John encouragement to write his song for Kayleigh


John hit the radio off he didn't want to hear "Kayleigh" in his ears as he drove through the gridlock towards home. He had to double back now to head home. He thought about how it all came about so suddenly?

Was it sudden?

She's dropped hints for weeks now, and he sometimes read them right, and at times he felt like she wasn't interested. The almost kiss not forgotten. He asked, no, begged for her not to answer the phone to ignore Elsie, but she chose to respond and it ruined what should have been a perfect moment.

Kayleigh was very tactile. John noticed that right off. How she would touch him and the first time it happened it shot signals to his head and other parts of his body which he couldn't easily control. God, he loved it and hated it, how she could easily unravel him or wind him up, and still, he craved it all.

John tried hard to keep eyes focused on the cars in front of him only he did a side glance to see that she was indeed in the taxi. His heart hurt more when he saw her crying. John couldn't bring himself to text her not that John would while driving. He made a note of it when he would reach home to see if she got back safely.

"Why the long face John?" Nana Rose followed him through the front room to the kitchen only he skipped up two stairs at a time until he disappeared into his bedroom.

He called down, "nothing wrong Nana Rose let me change quickly and then I'll run you home."

John found his favorite Polo shirt and jeans with sneakers tossing the work clothing into his dirty hamper then sat down only to sigh as he checks his phone, hours ago she left her last message to him. "Waiting at the car."

John risks it, and sends Kayleigh a message or two: Hope you get home safe? (Minutes later) Are you there?

He waits a bit longer before he pockets his phone and slips his sneakers on. "John, you ok?"

"Yes, just a minute Nana rose, getting me shoes on." John sighed once more feeling more depressed than ever.

"John, is everything ok?"

It would take his Nana to sense that he wasn't well. So she set to set the table for two, quiche warmed in the cooker tea brewing, and she waited until he stood in the doorway looking at his cell phone with a hope he had seen or heard her text, still nothing. He pocketed it quickly enough. "Nana, I thought you ate the quiche already?"

"John, take a seat," Nana had pulled his chair and waited for him to sit, "A man should eat."

John did as told shuffled into place; no one ignored Nana Rose when she had something to say.

"Now, who she is, is it your girlfriend?"

"No, nothing like that," John pushed the plate away.

"So, the perfume smell in your car isn't from your lady friend then?" She eyed his movements. "Well something's caught your appetite, you'll waste away."

"No, I mean, she was a co-worker, she shared the car, remember, I car share," he gulped, avoiding Nana's eyes, then added, "Or I used too."

Perfume smell, he didn't realize that she was everywhere, often or not she'd spray her perfume before she exited the car, he didn't think it lingered, but people have noticed her scent left behind. Weeks of her sitting the same spot, them driving, singing, laughing – John closed his eyes.

"I see, not a girlfriend, but why the long face than John?" Rose didn't let him answer and continued, "John, you mean the world to me, Our Paul too, but you took care of me when your dad died."

"I know I do." John finally found his voice.

"The last time I saw you this sad, we lost your dad, but before then, Charlotte walked out of your life." Rose watched her grandson fidget with the fork twisting it around. She would wait for him to respond.

"Let's not bring her up, please."

Nana Rose saw the hurt in his eyes. Shaking her head and placing her hands on John's. "What happened with Charlotte just happened, John." He opened his mouth to protest, but she pushed on, "John, Charlotte wasn't meant for you. Plain and simple, she was your dad's idea of love."

He nodded.

"Dearie, you feel something for this lady friend, then? You mention Kayleigh whenever I'm in the car with you, or I find bits of her things her left behind. Her perfume lingers in the car, and often on you. And just now you checked your phone for the 3rd time since we've sat down to talk. Are you waiting for her to call?"

"No, I don't think she'll call me, Nana, I think I screwed up. I lost her."

"Say what you want, but you are in love, son and it shows!"

"You're right as always."

She pats his arm, and looked squarely in his eyes, "You know what to do, John, you always have."

"I do that." But still, John's heart ached. "I think I know what to do."

"Good, son, finish your quiche and brew, I would like a lift home."

With that, he had enough courage to create a song just for Kayleigh's ears.


End file.
